Separation and Divorce

Long-time relationship misery

Life doesn’t always go as planned. You were in love; there was romance and passion. You had dreams for a wonderful future. It seemed you wanted to be together all the time. Not anymore!

Life has devolved into arguments, criticism, contempt, and resentment. You live in the same house but dread seeing each other. The communication pattern has become either attack or withdraw.

You thought it would get better

You gave it your all and spent years in couples therapy, but now all you feel is alone.

You’re sleeping in the basement, you can’t tolerate the tension and bad mood, your work is suffering, and you’re angry and agitated.

All sense of who you are is lost. You just can’t do it anymore. You’re done.

You’re considering leaving but feel guilty and afraid!

Your thoughts are all confused now that you’ve seriously started thinking about moving out.

You’re suddenly worried about being single, managing two households, legal issues, kids, how friends and family will react, and money.

There’s never a right time except….

If you’re in an abusive relationship, leave now!

If your life and maybe the life of your children are in danger.

Don’t wait! Consult an attorney and a therapist right away and develop a plan.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have no power. The longer you stay, the less power you will have and the greater the danger.

This is the time to be strong. Seek the advice of the professionals, who can help you to safety. NOW!

There are too many complications!

As much as you want to leave this miserable relationship, you don’t want to be a quitter.

You’ve felt ready to leave so many times, but you never wanted to ruin a birthday, anniversary, holiday, or family vacation.

Everyone will suffer. You know that you have the power to hurt your partner, upset your kids, and in-laws/parents. You don’t want that to happen.

You don’t want to be thought of as “the bad guy/woman.” Reality check – there’s never a good time.

“The discussion”

Finally, you and your partner have “the discussion.” Either you both amicably agree to separate, or one of you doesn’t.

The decision’s made, and you want to escape right away.

Everyone will remember the day the separation happened. Even if you’ve been living in separate bedrooms for a long time, it will be a shock to you (yes, you!) and everyone else when one of you leaves the family home.

Don’t even think about leaving between Thanksgiving and January first!

Wait! This is the time of year that families are together the most.

Even if your holiday celebrations haven’t been the smoothest, don’t leave your kids with the memory that daddy or mommy ruined Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other important holiday because that’s when they moved away.

It will stay with them forever, as will the guilt for you.

The sadness and pain

Sadness and pain are your constant companions. It’s a different kind of pain. The hurricane the separation created sends life tumbling around uncontrollably.

You rethink your decision. Even if you want to go back, do you really think your partner will agree to try again? Do you think your kids and family will forgive you?

Unless you change something, attempting to undo the damage is an exercise in futility. There might be a short honeymoon, but it won’t last, and everyone will be hurt again.

You’re depressed and suffering

You expected to feel free, but it’s just the opposite.

Friends you thought would be there for you are avoiding you.

Everywhere you look, people are coupled up. You miss your kids, your home, and your social life. You even miss your dog!

You’ve found the right therapist!

You need someone to help you untangle the mess your life has become. You’ve disappointed yourself, your partner, and your family.

Let me help you.

You’ve come to the right place.

We will work together to figure out the part each of you contributed to the failure of the relationship and why both of you stayed in it so long.

Divorce can be messy.

Life has become unmanageable again but in a different way. It’s even more complicated. Questions and worries fill your thoughts. You feel helpless and hopeless.

How will you handle holidays? How will it affect your kids? Will they refuse to see you? You’ll miss seeing them every day.

When will your kids be able to see their grandparents? How will you make new single friends? How can you effectively co-parent your kids and convince your ex not to hate you? When can you start dating again?

Though I am not an attorney, I can help you answer these and other questions.

Together, we can navigate the confusion of choosing mediation, collaborative divorce, or situations where the courts are involved.

What are you waiting for?

Email, text, or call me at (301) 309-8077.  Let’s move you forward and regain the quality of your life!